Another challenge in writing this dissertation is the idea that I also have to lay the groundwork for the next phase of my academic career, such as it is. So aside from the fact that I have to believe in myself and my potential for doing good work – despite the barrage of self-reproach that I too often inflict on myself because I’m swimming in the mud of dissertation writing every day – I simply have to find the time to come up with some good project ideas.

I actually have two!

The first would be a continuation of sorts of my PhD project. I would stay with mega-events but leave the Global East, and instead work on the Olympics in Paris 2024 and Los Angeles 2028. The idea here would be to investigate whether the preparations for these Games represent a new departure in terms of planning practices, due to the current crisis of the Olympic Games where – after the wasteful planning for Sochi 2014 and Rio de Janeiro 2016 – very few cities are still interested in bidding for these events. This is because the Olympic brand has been bruised by exorbitant costs, allegations of corruption, construction delays, security concerns, evictions and marginalization of the host population, and the widespread destruction of the natural environment. Not a great look for an organization that purports to be about sport and international unity. I would apply for funding through the University of Lausanne and, if approved, have a post-doc for 2-3 years that would see me doing research back home in California (though SoCal, not Berkeley). Still – that’s definitely a bit of a change from Volgograd!

The good thing here is that I would continue working with my current team, all good people that I know and love. It seems like a nice way to put my PhD project to bed too, publishing from it without starting something entirely new. On the other hand, I’m a little weary of All Things Mega-Events and would quite like to move on to something a little different. I’m also reluctant to leave the Global East, and I know very little about working in the USA or France. And finally, I love working with my advisor and am so grateful for his influence in my life and development. But I am also frightened of remaining forever in his shadow. I don’t want to suffer later on because I lacked the courage now to move on and do something more independent!

The second project is for the International Postdoc Fellowship in St. Gallen. I wrote a project that would investigate the sociocultural implications of the military conflict in eastern Ukraine as it is played out in people’s daily lives and the urban environments they inherit, create, and inhabit. In two cities (Kharkiv and Kamianske) I would be exploring the relationship between geopolitical violence and the built environment. Unlike most work on urban geopolitics, however, I would not focus on the level of the national state, but rather emphasize the human scale to bring to light the ways in which geopolitical contestations make themselves visible in daily life. This would be the connection to my dissertation, part of which valorizes the micro scale of the individual and the quotidian in order to make sense of mega-event developments.

Here, the advantage is that I would fly more independently and (hopefully) gain the confidence to work without the immediate presence of the advisor who guided me during the PhD. On the other hand, it would mean a dramatic turn away from what I worked on previously, which means finding my way in new environments while still trying to publish from the PhD. Which, I suppose, is what you’re “supposed” to do in a post-doc? I’m not sure.

The problem is that I would love to do both or either. If I were lucky to get the both of them – a true embarrassment of riches! – I have no idea what I would choose.

And meanwhile, what I really need to be doing is concentrating on making the best dissertation I possibly can, otherwise what’s the point of trying for a post-doc in the first place?